"Firm but Fair"
Wih all the investment and effort put into the Olympics it would be a tragedy if some thoughtless people ruined it for everyone by running, jumping, or doing gymnastics...
Perched on their high chairs the lifeguards attempt to keep thte fun strictly under control, and anyone caught petting can expect to be severely admonished for sullying the Olympic dream
Only sensible lane swimming and synchronised strolling is permitted by our 'Speedo clad warriors'.
They also lead the public in a a strict strectching and lunging programme in their mission to keep the fun out of sport.
"With flip flops and whistle he is
a warrior of modern times"

Jem brings order to the Rangers fans in Manchester